Saturday, November 1, 2008

Plan B(from outside of spacetime!)

So, here you are after drinking the equivalent of an entire lake of booze and you never did find the answer at the bottom of that glass, did you?

Life has stopped being fun!

You are, as the AA slogan goes, "Sick and tired of being sick and tired!"

What to do, what to do?

Well, you do what everyone else does, you find yourself a 'higher power!'.

As you forgive yourself for being busted for impaired driving(again?), or beating the wife(again?), or waking up with a layer of shit between your bum and your underwear(again?) or any one(or combination of) of a myriad of sins, several things will start to penetrate that thick fog that you call your consciousness.

1) The 'higher power' is Jesus!
2)The unforgivable things you've done are called 'sins'.
3) The 'power' that Jesus has is the power to forgive you of your sins, which is the power to forgive yourself!
4)It's not easy to forgive yourself and the only way to make it permanent is to be BORN AGAIN!
5)Suddenly, you'll see the deceitful world for what it is. It was the deceitful world's fault that you did those unforgivable things, it was Satan's fault all along!
6)Now that you are BORN AGAIN, no matter how many lives you've screwed up with your drinking or drug addiction or whatever, it wasn't your fault at all!

How easy is it now to look down your humble nose at the 'world'? Well, how easy is it to fall off a log?

Is there more? Shit yea!


Asylum Seeker said...

And here I always thought that that "higher power" was Xenu. Tom Cruise is gonna be pissed now that I have to convert to Christianity in order to stay off the wagon. Or is it on the wagon? Why do I care about wagons?

GearHedEd said...

My answer to the bottom of the glass is to go get another bottle.

pboyfloyd said...

LOL ed!

I picture a die hard alky getting himself a granite goblet before finally 'hitting' rock bottom!

GearHedEd said...

Election Day, kiddies! Let the games begin!!

GearHedEd said...


Medical marijuana passed in Michigan, and I'm a glaucoma patient! Gotta go find my seeds that I've been saving since the late '70s...

pboyfloyd said...

"Seed from the 70s"

Sounds like a cool band name!

If the sprouted at all, I'm not sure if that would be considered 'pot' anymore. Just sayin'.