Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Morality Argument

How can there be 'good' if there is no GOD?

Well let's turn that around, dump it on it's head and paint it with a mixture of poo and urine!

Disgusting, isn't it?

Okay, now let's hose it off again so we can have a peek into the mind of a Creationist.

Ultimate question, where did we come from?

Answer:- GOD!

(see the first Book of the Sacred Holy Bible, conveniently named Genesis, which means 'Beginning'!)

How do I know that that is right? Well, it is simple, straightforward, to the point, and written in an unimpeachible, sacred, holy book! If your not going to 'go along' with this part you are definitely going to have a bit of a problem with the rest.

But what if you're not the gullible, childlike, uncritical simpleton that we LOVE to teach-hahahaha? (regular teaching can be complicated and might make you prone to thinking and that just leads to trouble, BUT "teach-hahahaha-ing", although it can be quite expensive too, does exactly the opposite!

What if you are not the kind of person that we can say to, "Look around you, do you not see God's handiwork?", and you unthinkingly say, "Sure!", well, that's not as bad as you might think that we think it is. We have, of course, what we laughingly call "Plan B".(I know, that's not very creative, but we already have a Creator and we'd like you to suck that 'fact' up, keep it in mind as it were. If you can do that you are already unwittingly 'ours', "Bwahahah!, ahem, I mean, 'Praise the Lord!'")

If you're not the kind of person to say, "Sure!" to the premise that everything is God's handiwork, then, although we have 'Plan B'(see above parenthetical introduction of "the Creator"), we CAN be very disappointed that we know that you are not the kind of person who would automatically answer, "Yes, yes!"(while skipping in circles) to the question, "Do you love your mommy and daddy with all your heart and know that they are the very bestest mommy and daddy that a little girl could ever, every-dever have?????!

This one giant, 'Holy jumping Jesus!' black mark on you already! Just letting you know 'buster', we'll be keeping a close watch on you, don't you think that we won't!

Sadly it's time for me to go and 'get a life' just now. Hey, what do you think that my armpits clean themselves?

You can rest assured that I will be back to explain 'Plan B' and, subsequently the Morality Argument and why it is important for you to look around you and see God everywhere!

(ending music) chic-a-bau-chic-a=bau-chic-a-bau... "Peace-out!"
(I'm trying to be 'hep' here, you ungrateful Philistines!)

8 comments:

Asylum Seeker said...

"Do you love your mommy and daddy with all your heart and know that they are the very bestest mommy and daddy that a little girl could ever, every-dever have?????!"

Ahahhaha. Good one. An excellent comparison to the reaction that the religious desire, and also, if you replace the word "mommy and daddy" with "country" I think you will see another fascinating parallel...

Why can't we just be adults?

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Because being adults is a lot harder work than they told us it would be!

Asylum Seeker said...

That much is true. It is really hard to take responsibility for yourself. Which I do not. In all honesty, I am actually childish in every single respect aside from mindlessly pledging devotion to things, so I guess I am not really one to complain. But, I also derive much satisfaction from complaining, so I will stay the course! (Again, parallelism abounds).

Harvey said...

One can see an interesting parallel here.
We have bred modern dogs to retain various "puppy" like appearances and behavior, which, of course, differentiates them from the wolves who are actually still so close to them in genetic status that they can readily breed together. We have done this over the millennia to make them more tractable and to keep them dependent on us as "pack leaders" and food providers.
Note that most religious teaching (particularly Christianity) makes these analogous suggestions to us:
1) God is the Father; We are His children.
2) He will provide.
3) I am the Lord your God: Thou shalt have no other gods (leaders) before me.
4) He is the shepherd; we are his sheep. We must follow him.
5) If we are "bad", we will be punished. We will be shunned by the rest of the flock (pack).
Etc, etc, etc .......
In order to gain and retain control of its followers, religion requires and encourages child-like behavior. "Do as God (Father)says. Do not question God's word (the pack leader, master, owner).
It seems to me that the analogy is abundantly clear. Religions require immature, "puppy-like" behavior in return for reassurance that God (the master, the pack leader) will provide for us and that He will "save" us from the great unknown after death.

Asylum Seeker said...

"Religions require immature, "puppy-like" behavior in return for reassurance that God (the master, the pack leader) will provide for us and that He will "save" us from the great unknown after death."

In fairness though...puppies are adorable.

GearHedEd said...

Boil it down to it's ultimate message, and all religions are a justification for the ruling class to tell us how to behave.

"Do this, and ye shall be rewarded."

"Do that, and ye shall be punished."

Aside from that, the rest is just dressing.

pboyfloyd said...

I think that it's fair to say that there are 'guys-behind-the-curtain' at every level.

From 'small town' Chamber of Commerces, the local Legions, City Hall, the local police and fire depts. boards of education and so on right down to renta-cops and neighborhood watches.

In the Americas the 'father'(the church) is watching through any and all institutions to 'see' if you've been good or bad!?

I don't imagine that it would be a surprise to anyone to know that if you move to a new town and want to make some instant friends who have influence, to have 'word from above' come down to any potential obstacles in your way, so to speak, the invisible hand of GOD, the church itself, is the place to go.

Some might say that that itself is a conspiracy.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Yeah, who knew that the old Christmas song, "he knows when you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake", would become the theme song of the Justice Department.