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The Ungodly Evil Temple of Evil

All liberals, socialists, atheists, agnostics ought to join a Temple of Evil!

There are no gods to worship!

We could pretend to drink Unholy blood!(actually it would be wine!

We could pretend to eat Unholy flesh!(pizza!)

Drink Unholy PEE!(beer)

Sing favorite Unhymns by classic rock bands.

Sacred Unholy smoke! (Don't tell me you don't know what I'm getting at!)

We would proselytize small business, encouraging them to hire temple members and trade each other's services!

We would make it a POINT that Godly people can just FUCK OFF!

In fact our motto would BE, 'FUCK OFF, Godly people!

We'd need to convince the Godly that they're not welcom by giving ourselves Ungodly names, like Brother Baal, Sister Morlech and suggesting that a right of passage into the temple was to eat an unborn(a raw egg!)

Who is there to tell us that we do not have epistemic warrant?

PLUS, atheists always seem to have the 'herding cats' problem!

Well, no more! Create an Ungodly Evil Temple of Evil and PARTY ON! (tax free)

69 comments:

Asylum Seeker said...

This almost sounds like the general sentiment behind certain forms of Satanism (the forms that are more or less a mockery of religion, manifesting as atheism + hedonism + a dress). Maybe our goal should be reforming Satanism into something that isn't just for people who like the shock value of making people think that they are actual devil-worshipers, thus opening it up to all the other evil unbelievers! The alternative is to make our church with a little too much overlap with that form of Satanism, or joining Unitarian Universalists, who may be too wishy-washy for the sake of those who really want to act "godless".

But, either way, I am sure I'll have a list of evil names to go with. Reverend Rape-Pillage-Burn, Bishop Bloodbath, Friar Linoge and Cardinal Byron the Puppy-eater all seem like good candidates for now.

Anonymous said...

There's a dude in Eau Claire, WI who is trying to found the 'Church of Atheism'. Maybe you could run your ideas by him? lol.

pboyfloyd said...

Not sure about the Unitarianism but I think that joining with Satanism is 'out'.

Ungodly is ungodly after all. Can't have any gods.

I'd like to be clear that when I say EVIL, I'm talking 'Ungodly" not 'very bad', or 'criminal'.

The Atheist Church might be based on this idea. If the Christians or Muslims can form a tax-free club and social network, surely ungodly people can do the same thing.

Hey, in times of trouble, wouldn't you like to know that you had a place to go, with friends, neighbors willing to sit with you over an Unholy pee or some Unholy blood and Unholy smoke and help you get back on your feet?

Seems like a no-brainer to me!

The Maze Monster said...

Throw in a free copy of The God Delusion on audio book and magnet for my car and you've got a deal!

Harvey said...

Certainly this might be a good idea for tax purposes (if the IRS would let it fly) and social life, but any kind of atheist organization would play right into the hands of "believers" like Dinesh (remember him?) who already are certain that atheists are a religion of sorts, with "respected" leaders who speak for us, etc.

mac said...

Yeah, I'm there .
I nominate you as our founder and elect you to lead us from our servitude at the hands of the god-lovers.

Perhaps, you could be a Moses of sorts. We'll call you NOses...as in NOses gods. We might not follow you for 40 years in the desert, but I assure I shall follow you to dessert, 'specially if it's PEANUTBUTTER !

So c'mon Noses, lead the way ;-)

Saint Brian the Godless said...

LETS ORGANIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANNA BE POPE!

Er, wait a minute, that'd be demotion from Saint, wouldn't it?

Nevermind. Carry on.

Anonymous said...

Where do I sign up??

Anonymous said...

I don't know, the WI guy sounds kind of weird, like he's trying to tie in all of the trappings of religion. It's just not going to go over very well with atheists, is what I think... :)

Asylum Seeker said...

Harvey's right that it would feed right into the "atheism is a religion!1!!!1!1!!" 'argument'. But, it is still an appealing idea. Especially if anti-blasphemy laws come into effect....imagine turning atheism into a religion with there being anti-blasphemy laws! We could turn blasphemous sentiments in respects to other religions into tenets of our own "faith", and feign indignation when our rights to practice said tenets are infringed.

Anyway, dibs on the title of Spacepope.

Asylum Seeker said...

Oh, btw...the Satanism I was referring to before isn't involved in any illegal activities, or anything like that. They pretty much "worship" a pagan concept of Satan as a glorified version of the "id", the pleasure principle. Freedom to satiate your own desires, and to focus on yourself, while still not hurting others in the process (but still not being compelled to help them, or anything like that). It's what would happen if objectivism and paganism had given birth to a horny little abomination with a strong urge to participate in bizarre rituals that mock other religions. There are other forms of Satanism, including forms that do actually worship the Biblical Satan or something like it(I assume). But even they don't actually teach that it is even permissible to kill, or anything like that. No ritual sacrifices. That's for the Cthulhu worshippers, after all.

pboyfloyd said...

Seems to me that it'd have to be local to your area. I don't see how a world-wide or even nation-wide version would work, except to try to bilk local groups out of their bingo money for the 'greater good' and such.

Probably Christianity itself started out with groups looking out for each other and look at the weird heirarchies that form and the money still seems to flow from the suckers to the glib.

Wonder how many 'fraternal' groupa started out 'all for one and one for all' and ended up just 'all for one.', with president/treasurer 'new rules', we've got the cash and you're not getting it back!

PLUS, everyone would laugh unless it started doing good then 'watch out', suddenly the establishment would have you under a freekin' microscope!

Perhaps 'new rules' from without, freezing funds and padlocking doors, painting organizers as fraudsters.

I think that all references to 'evil', 'ungodly' and 'temple' ought to be left out of any actual titles of any group formed.

The godly might get arson happy if city by-laws and the fraud-squad found you squeaky clean.

Anonymous said...

"The Atheist Church might be based on this idea. If the Christians or Muslims can form a tax-free club and social network, surely ungodly people can do the same thing."

-----------------------------------

Can't really get around the paradox, but if you can, I'll vote that you should have it tax-free.

Believe it or not (no irony intended) pboy you opened up the floodgates. Is tax exemption for places of worship moral? That's like Humpty sitting on the wall of the separation between church and state.

I personally don't see it as moral. A redefinition of religion according to the constitution is in order.

I could be cool with tax exempt status if this redefinition would include humanism (assuming a humanist bent for atheists). Museums, concert halls, atheist gathering places, art galleries etc. These places can be churches too.

I know I'm excluded from your 'The Ungodly Evil Temple of Evil' but I'm down for helping you build it. But I won't help you build a second one. Because that would make both into simply Ungodly Evil Temples of Evil. How everyday is that? You've got to have the definite article.

Actually, If I helped you to build it you probably would factionalize.
In fact all of this sounds eerily familiar.

So let me get this straight. You want to take a reasonable idea and make it into a religion?

pboyfloyd said...

Fractionalization would be insisted on, then you might be persuaded to help "THE Ungodly Evil Temple of Pure Evil!"

Ah but where to build? At the geographic center or the population center?

Design wise, I'm thinking bomb-proof cave, the deeper the better! Telephone kiosk elevator entries, shoe-phones, the whole shmear!

(I felt I needed to lighten things up here, you are definitely sounding too serious oneblood!)

I did like the 'humanist' church thing, you know that could actually work!

Anonymous said...

For real? I sounded too serious? I was trying to be serious and funny. I have failed (whimper).

Anonymous said...

Hey... If Seeker gets to be "Spacepope" - Can I be "Interstellar Czar"??

pboyfloyd said...

Spacepope and Interstellar czar!

Names that might live forever in the Intertubular Annals of the Evil Ungodly Temple of Evil.

"Asylum Seeker baggsed Spacepope.."

"Stacy baggsed Interstellar Czar..."

"pboyfloyd baggsed The-one-who-will-NOT-be-named.."(Just to get THAT over with)

... and so mote it mote.

Only one intrepid hero was lacking for the team to leave the village to fight for a magic bridge to the mainland by defeating Garland!

GearHedEd said...

Copy of "The God Delusion": check.
Flying Spaghetti Monster plaque on the back of my car: check.
Getting my name on the list for medical marijuana because I have glaucoma: check.

Where's Eau Claire, Wisconsin?

GearHedEd said...

I got dibs on "Dungeon Fuhrer"

The Maze Monster said...

You wrote: "Did you vote for the new space module name, Colbert?"

My responce: What? Lol. I don't get it.

Anonymous said...

pboy,

I know what you don't believe. But what do you believe?

Anonymous said...

I think "Prime Rib Minister" is still open if anyone wants it.

pboyfloyd said...

Maze Monster.

Check out Colbertnation.com

Click the link to name the new space module and 'write in' Colbert.

Xenu was on top of the list of 'write ins' 'til Colbert 'gave us the go-ahead'.

It'll be 'cool' to see what they do!

Oneblood.

I'll write a post on what I believe next.

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http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/220648/march-04-2009/stephen-becomes-scientology-s-galactic-overlord

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